Marriage is the bedrock of every family, and every young person (male or female) must get it right from the foundation. Choosing your partner is the first step and foundation of every marriage, and this, to a large extent, determines what kind of family you will have.
Nobody is perfect, and no single individual has it all in life regarding good qualities. We all have a mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly inside. The critical factor that distinguishes us from one another is how well we have been able to develop our good qualities and curb our excesses.
Unfortunately, though, many people do not care about working on and improving themselves. Such people are always quick to make manipulative statements like: “If you truly love me, you will take me for who I am.” May God forbid you ever to get stuck in a marriage with any such nonsense! Marriage is a lifetime contract; hence it must never be trivialized in any way and at any stage of it.
Here at TUFF, we help build and sustain great family units worldwide. Our primary commitment is to touch lives positively and fulfill dreams by bringing stability and opportunities to families in need around the world.
However, we also believe that building a great family starts from choosing the right partner. So, here are four types of people we think you should stay clear of when choosing a life partner:
Those That Never Stand Up For You: It is said that “one shall chase a thousand, and two shall put to flight ten thousand.” As great as this may sound, please note that it is only applicable to a couple that sticks together against any challenge or opposition.
Does your intended spouse stand up for you in your presence and absence? Does he/she fight for you and defend you no matter what – especially when you’ve not even done anything wrong? Do they speak up for you and act as your shield and protection with friends, family, colleagues at work, and everywhere?
A partner that cannot or does not do this is more likely to put you to shame publicly or even privately (with close family and relatives) one day. Your partner must always be safe and secure with you whether they’re physically with you or not. If a person is unwilling to stand up for you in your absence, how can you trust such to protect you in times of physical danger and need?
Those That Only Make Sacrifices For Themselves: Some people can only go out of their way to get or do things when it directly benefits them. If it doesn’t, they cannot be bothered and are always full of excuses for why they cannot help out.
Make a mental note of any such person around you, and never consider them when thinking of a spouse.
Those Unwilling To Step Out From Their Parents’ Shadow: There is so much a young couple should take or have to deal with. An overbearing, possessive, and controlling in-law (from whichever side) is not one of such at all!
The signs are always there during the time of courtship. Unfortunately, many young people are permanently blinded by the sizzling romance, love, and the excitement of planning forever with their partner. They fail to notice certain over-clingy traits between their partner and prospective father or mother-in-law. If your intended partner cannot take any significant decision, especially concerning their relationship with you, without consulting or seeking his/her parents’ consent first, that is a huge red flag!
There are two possibilities with this type of person and family: You either agree to dance to their every whim and have them meddling in your private affairs always, or you refuse to take such and walk away from their child before it’s too late. The ball is in your court.
Those Who Feel Comfortable Being Friends With Your Enemies: This last set is my most unacceptable group. I’m sure you’re familiar with the saying: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” right? Now, what do you think a friend of your enemy is to you? An enemy, of course!
Beware of people that claim to love you yet feel comfortable being friends with your known enemies. Such a partner is a hazard to your safety and life, and we cannot stress this fact enough. Remember Samson and Delilah? She “loved” Samson so much yet delivered him into the hands of his mortal enemies to be ridiculed and killed.
Seeing this type of trait in a person and still choosing to spend forever with them is like seeing a giant black scorpion on the road and choosing to pick and keep it as a pet. Please, do not complain when you get fatally stung in the long run. Well, that’s if you are lucky enough to remain alive, to complain, though.
A word, as the saying goes, is enough for the wise! May God bless us all. Amen.